Level One: Beginner

I admire the people who are able to finish what they start. The people who can bridge the gap between vision and realization. The “Finishers” of the world who look at something they want and somehow seem to always get it.

Because I sit here time and again, sifting through all of these unfinished drafts, plans, and dreams crammed into a folder on my screen. I flinch as they stare at me like bitter teammates constantly relegated to the sidelines, huddling together for validation.

I envy these people. Because my thought process is a string of Untitled Documents, to-do’s and haphazard notes scribbled on the backs of business cards dug up from the depths of my Mary Poppins purse. Cards given to me by people who actually have their shit together. I too have cards. They’re nestled nicely in their box, commiserating with the folders piled high on my desk.

If only I could credit their success to experience and age acquired wisdom. But people are out there changing the world and winning Nobel prizes at 17.

Do you know what I was doing at 17?



…It must be about priorities. The Finishers must wake up with a purpose each day, envisioning every moment sprawling out in front of them, forecasting how everything will eventually fall into place. They’re the kind of people with agendas who stick to their initial deadlines. The goal setters and the time managers, who always seem to see the bigger  picture and know the right people. Seriously, find me these connections because I don’t think I’m doing it right.

Finishers, lend me your collective mind for a day, because I imagine it to be a kind of sophisticated machinery that my brain just can’t rival. Mine is too busy failing at installing upgrades because any storage space I had is saturated with useless data.

Lend me your mind, because I feel like no matter how many steps I take in any direction, no matter how many obstacles I blunder through or changes I implement, I never level up.

I am a cemented Beginner.

It’s like I need those little magic pills from Limitless to kickstart all of the ideas floating around up here: the business plans, the goals of running for office and reforming education, the ability to navigate the realm of real estate, hell, even the notion I once seriously entertained about becoming an early riser.

In the meantime, I dabble. I peruse. I fixate. I imagine.

Maybe, for us Beginners, getting what we want just isn’t good enough. We are never content, always restless, never “finished.” We are fervently swept up into new adventures until something more intriguing comes along. We want to indulge in every passion and opportunity but find ourselves tempered by responsibility and choice.

Heart vs. Brain

Beginning is convenient. We haven’t failed yet. We are hungry but not yet constrained. We abate routine before it feels like settling.

We want to believe that our futures are limitless but ooze frustration when a solid path evades us. I appreciate those who finish what they start because, from an outsider’s perspective at least, they seem to have an outline of their life story already written, ready to draft. They know when it’s time to end a rich, plot thickening chapter and turn the page.

Or maybe they don’t. Maybe circumstance befalls us all and chapters close whether we like them to or not. Either way, I challenge us to astound ourselves. To follow through with our commitments and observe the ripples. To write it all down. Take stock. Keep moving.

Finish each chapter, but only once it’s done contributing to your greater adventure.


One thought on “Level One: Beginner

  1. I feel like I am reading your diary. Just remember that many people are just good at pretending to have their shit together, but really don’t.


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